JORDANS DIAGNOSIS

Our son Jordan Benjamin Powell came into this world on the 13th August, 1998, weighing 7 pound. Being my first pregnancy everything seemed to be going ok until around 6 months, when I developed high blood pressure and had to take medication to keep it down.

Jordan was born by emergency caesarean 4 weeks early, his agpar scores were 2 and 5 and had to be rescuciated after birth as he stopped breathing for a couple of minutes, then was placed in a humidicrib for 12 hours after for oxygen.

He then developed Jaundice, but never needed phototherapy, though he was up and down for 7 days with his Bilirubin, which kept peaking and coming down again. Jordan developed at alarming rate, almost crawling by 5 months, saying mumma/dadda by 6 months and was standing in his cot by 8 months. He started to walk one week after his 1st birthday.
He was always smiling, alert and a happy contented toddler and was a very pretty baby from birth to who he is today. He has brown curls, green/blue eyes that so many people have mistaken him for a girl at times. Nothing at the time ever seemed out of the ordinary until around 17 months of age. He started to make strange noises with his mouth along with his hands and makes a errrr noise, which he still does.

He stopped saying words he could say, like car, hello on the telephone when the phone rang. He seemed to want to be fed with his bottle again, with us holding it for him, which at first thought it was to do with his brother Nicolas being born and was reverting back to baby mimicking. People had told us not to worry because their children had done the same and he would pick up again. He then also started to line things up and would spin over and over again. His eye contact was poor by now which was fine to begin with. I used to think he was deaf or being ignorant when we called his name, but at the sound of a lolly wrapper or if I said chocolate he would stop what he was doing and come to get his lolly.

Well it seems as the months passed this was not the case, he seemed to get worse with his regression. It wasn't until his 2nd birthday I knew something was not right. My brother had said a couple of months before he thought he was autistic because he had a friend who's brother was autistic and Jordan showed classic signs of being autistic. I was in denial and so was Jason, my parents knew something wasn't right but wouldn't say much because they just hoped he would come good again after Nicolas being born.

My inlaws came over one evening for his 2nd birthday and it was that night I knew in my heart something was not right with his behaviour. When they turned up I was feeding him his dinner and he seemed to be fine, but as soon as everyone walked in, he cried uncontrollably, so I went outside and he would calm down again, I would bring him in again and he would start crying again. I then took him over to my parents who we lived next door to at the time while we had dinner and he seemed to be calm and sat with grandma who shared her dinner with him.
I knew that night his behaviour was not because he wasn't familiar with his other grandparents or anything like that. I talked to Jason and he still seemed to be in denial and kept telling me he was fine. After an argument I took it upon myself to take him to the medical centre to see what the doctor thought and within 5 minutes he knew our son was autistic and that he would send us to a paediatrician for a proper diagnosis.

We went back to my mum and dads and I just cried and mum just cried with me and said she and dad had felt he was autistic all along. We made an appointment with a Paediatrician and had to wait for one week before Dr Delougherty could see us. I will tell you it was the longest week of my life waiting for his appointment, I just wanted it over and done with as we had another little boy who was about to turn one and needed closure so I could do what I had to do for Jordan and concentrate on Nicolas as well.

After seeing the specialist, he was quite at first just watching Jordan as he walked around the office, touching things, making noises and being non responsive, then said he definitely was in a world of his own. The shattering realisation was confirmed, yes your son is autistic. I started to cry uncontrollably, my husband was telling me it was ok and the doctor told him firmly, no its not ok, your wife needs to grieve. Jason sat with a blank expression, which I know was shock and grief as he was so sure there was nothing to worry about at all, but being his mother I felt different.

I suffered a great deal of depression after his diagnosis, though it's only now Jason and I realise how bad I was. I couldn't go to work on and off because I would cry all the time so Jason would take time off work to support me, my boss at the time was so kind and understanding with the situation. I never saw my husband cry at first. I think he was state of shock more than anything. He was a great support. He would help me through my grief each day. It was only months down the track when he finally broke down and opened up to me about his grief because he had hopes and dreams for Jordan, we realise now that he may never play sport but he could still make us academically proud.

My father seemed to take Jordan's diagnosis hard and I could tell it really upset him when we had Nicolas's 1st birthday and we had hired a clown, Jordan was interested in lining up the paint tins, rather than watch. Mum and dad took a video of that day and realised how bad he really was. I think after that it was so obvious he needed a lot of work and care.

I never seemed to receive moral support from my in-laws, all his mother could say was poor Jason and it seemed if I got upset people would role their eyes at me and was not interested in how I was feeling. The day I told his mother she said to me oh well you will have to get on with it won't you. I was devastated at those harsh words, whether it was her way of dealing with her own sadness, I found it selfish and unforgiving that those words were actually said to me.

No matter how I thought I was prepared for the news, when it came to crunch time I wasn't. I am now looking at ways of making his life as fulfilling as it can be and I know he will do great in time to his best ability.