MY LIFE AS AN AUTISTIC CHILD WRITTEN BY KIRALEA-MAY POWELL (THAT'S MY MOTHER)

Below is me at school jumping on
the trampoline. Something i love
doing at home also.

I am currently 7 ½ years old. I was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 2 about a week before my brother Nicolas turned one years old and had his birthday party.

My mother remembers his birthday party well because just being diagnosed it was still a raw deal.

My poppy had to leave the party later because he realised then how different I was too the other children attending. He was feeling sad because I was not interested in playing with the other children, I made weird noises and I kept trying too pinch the clowns face paint containers and line them all up.It was after they watched the video they recorded; it really sunk in that I was indeed Autistic and how different my behaviour was.

I started to count 1-10 by 2.5 years of age though these were the only words that were said clear enough for everyone to understand. I knew my entire alphabet by 3 ½ and by then was counting to 20.

Now we are in 2003. I am 4.5 years old, attending a special school.

I can write my alphabet A-Z quite well. This has proved to be a major breakthrough for my parents, because after they realised and sat dumbfounded by my efforts, all they could do was clap and cheer. I was confused at the time because I had no idea what the fuss was about, but now I write a letter, say it and look at them waiting for a response.

I love water; I do swim sometimes, getting braver holding my breath under water, though mum gets panicky when I start coughing and spluttering. I don't really like big pools where I cant touch or see the bottom properly, I cling onto dear life when mum and dad takes me in Grandma and Poppies pool.

Music makes me happy; I have a battery-operated organ and play the same demo song over and over. My mum and dad put up with it for a while then its time too take it to my room so they can get some peace and quiet.

I love dance music, when mum plays it for me I spin with my pillow over and over laughing with happiness. Its like the whole world around me just disappears and I am the only one on the universe.

My favourite pillowslip is one with moons and stars, without it I won't settle down to bed. My favourite part of the day is in the morning. I love to sit near the back door where the sun comes through.

I love my dummy, I scream and chat a lot and my parents just have to give me my dummy and that keeps me quiet for a while.I am pretty low maintenance at home, I would play happily on my own, and I love putting mummy's silky blouses on and parade around the house. I am pretty vain, as I love looking at myself in the mirror and posing like a supermodel i also love having my picture taken.My mum and dad say I speak French because they don't understand what I am saying; though lately I have started to say words and repeat sentences. My parents aren't sure if it's sometimes echolalia, though I have gone to the fridge and said milk or juice when I have wanted a drink. I do say coke or chocolate so my family believe I will come a long way with the correct education, though we know I will always be special.

Life can be frustrating some days; I throw myself around and scream. I shove my brother and sister when I am frustrated. I hate big crowds, I once went to my dads aunties for Christmas, I was sitting quietly playing with my computer until all these people started arriving, it was then I started to cry uncontrollably. Nothing will calm me, when I get into such a distressed state unless you take me away from all the people. I told dad out the front, want to go, want to go. Dad was surprised because this was the first time i had expressed myself emotionally through language he understood, When he brought me back to the party all I wanted to do was sit inside and flick the TV channels, away from all the people.

I am hyperactive most of the time, though I have days when I'm quiet and introverted. I have been really sick in my short life. I was hospitalised on a number of occasions for 4 days, the year 2002 was the last time I was hospitalised for Meningitis and Influenza A.

My immune system can't cope at times, so a normal cold could turn into something more. I have had lumbar punctures, cat scans, MRI's and an EEG. Mum never left my bedside even though at the time she was ill with Influenza A as well; she still slept with me even though she was told to go home.

My mum and dad are pretty patient and understanding with me, though I do test the boundaries at times. I love coming up to mum and kissing her, I have just started doing the sound effects as I kiss her and she thinks that is great. In a way I have learnt to be a little more sociable, and am starting to give more eye contact. My poor mum can't even go to the toilet without me wanting to sit at the door at times and try to kiss her.I love cuddles from my aunties Tanya and Sarah. Aunty Tanya just recently became a detective in the police force after being in uniform. I loved it one day when she came in her undercover car and showed us all the sirens and let us turn them on. I just couldnt stop pressing the button and all the neighbours were coming outside to find out what all the commotion was about.

The picture above is of my aunty tanya at grandma & poppys house with my brother Nicolas dressed as a policeman with my sister Chloe. Unfortunately i was at school that day.

There aren't many people who I will go to for affection, except my parents, grandma, Tanya and Sarah. Aunty Tanya and Sarah are my favourite aunties in the whole world. They love me unconditionally and are so patient with me. Aunty Sarah takes me into her pool sometimes and i love the spa. They are forever spoiling me and my brother Nicolas and sister Chloe.
I can be a handful at times when they mind me at their house or take me out shopping with them and they still love having me around and treating me no differently to any other child.

I love my aunty Anique (dads sister) she has a calming effect on me, especially when in the past she has sang to me.

I am adjusting to my uncle's affections though my Uncle Shane scares the willies out of me. I used to get very overwhelmed when we went to Grandpere and Gra Gras house (daddys mum & dad), when they would come out to the car or come over to our house, though I have learnt to be more acceptable of these transitions.

My poppy, I love to spend time with when he's on his computer. I love watching him play games and working. We have this little computer bond happening. He calls me his little French Prince because Daddys family come from the Mauritious Islands and speak French. (thats where i get my dark handsome looks from).

I have been rather naughty on a number of occasions, because I have switched poppies computer off while he is in the middle of something, then ran for my dear life, as I know I shouldn't do this. I have also deleted files. Boy does he get mad. I can't control the urge to touch buttons or light switches.I drive my mum and dad crazy, because I am always flicking channels on the television and turning the volume up and down. I even blew up a television one day.I hate the credits on videos and the ending of movies. I run and hide in my room until I know it is over. It absolutely terrifies me. Only I know why it scares me so much.

When I visit grandma and poppy I go mad with their televisions as well and have broken a video because I shoved something in it one day. I don't do this anymore, I have worked out how to put videos in properly and forward through the parts I don't like.

I am very animated and use my hands a lot when I talk in my own language.

I love it when my brother swings me on the swing, chases and tickles me. I hate it when he disturbs my routine. I like to line things up and when he walks over or touches my work I go ballistic scream and run through the house in sheer frustration.My brother Nicolas can be mean to me at times, but that is because I might interrupt his games as well. He is nice to me most of the time and I know he loves me a whole lot and is protective of me as well.I used to poke my little sister in the face all the time, just so she would cry as the facial expressions make me hysterical with laughter. Mum didn't think it was funny! I sit next to Chloe in the car and sometimes hold her hand, mum and dad are sure I find her quite cute as she gives me big smiles when I look at her. I pat her on the head and say bubba.

I have other annoying habits like opening and closing the grill door on the oven. It makes a bang noise when I open and close it. I love annoying noises like that. Dad hates it! I scream a lot and make this err sound with my mouth which is so loud and repetitive.

I always have seemed pretty happy with who I am. I do laugh a lot, love being tickled and screaming rah in mums face, so she does it back, I guess you could say it is a form of interacting which shows I have come a long way.

My grandpere and gra gra I don't see very much, as they live a long drive away. I surprised my grandpere when mum was in hospital after having our little sister. He took me for a walk and was reading a chart with numbers on it. He thought he had to help me count. I started saying 13,14,15,16 to 20 and he got the surprise of his life. I knew what I was doing and he was so proud of me.If you don't understand Autism, you should take the time to read all about it. This helps people understand me better, because I can be a handful most days.

My family were very upset when I was diagnosed. Some people don't understand why I am like I am, and at the end of the day my mum and dad suffer too because I was they're first born son, and they had many hopes and dreams for me in life. Their dreams for me are still a reality and they know just because I am different, doesn't mean I wont adapt to what this life has to offer for me.

I am now 5 and am still not toilet trained and have to wear nappies. I love to strip off and run around naked, much to mums dismay, because if I do a pooh I make a mess if I take my nappy off, so mum and dad have to be quick to change me. I have excelled in pooh art as mum says because if I take my nappy off, what a mess!

I love it when mum lays down with me to help me sleep, because she will tickle my back and stroke me until I drift off into noddy land.I am doing very well at school. The teachers are happy with my progress and mum and dad are too. Lately I have become quite difficult. I throw huge screaming tantrums. Mum calls it the terrible two's, as I am delayed with my autism, I have caught up a little more now.Mum and dad know I'm getting more difficult to handle because even though I am still delayed in areas, I am more aware of my surrounding and find it difficult to communicate at some certain levels.

I am now 6 years old. I am getting a good idea what the toilet is used for now, not just something with water that I can plash around in with. I go all day without a nappy on at school and use the toilet constructively. I come home and sit on the toilet with mum's help, though I seem to be a bit more relaxed at home and wet my pants.

I am doing well with understanding instructions. I also understand what everyone says around me. I have a memory like an elephant as the saying goes. I can be shown something once on the computer and will remember what to do. Mum and dad reckon I can work it better than they can. I count backwards from a thousand.

I remember peoples faces and say their names. I can spell and write my name. I enjoy my brother and sisters company and love getting hugs and kisses from them, which I love too reciprocate back.I told dad I loved him the other night when I was upset, while he was comforting me. Mum came home from work the other day and I ran to her with open arms and said mummy.Mum was beaming from ear to ear as this was the first time since I was one years old I had ever done this, Grandma heard and was proud of me.

My mum discovered a place called the Shack at Shoalhaven heads. It is a lovely place on the beach with a total of six units run by the Apex Club that caters for children with Disabilities and illnesses. There is a long wait but when our time comes to go, I get so excited when mum and dad tell me we are going and start laughing and clapping my hands when we are one street away.The first time we went, we met a nice family next door to us who are now our good friends and their daughter Kylie-Ann happens to attend the same school as me. Kylie-Ann is in a wheelchair and cant talk. Her mum Mary and Kylie-Ann are my friends. Mary is very kind to me and adores Nicolas my brother and Chloe my sister a lot too. Kylie-Anns dad Graham & brothers are really nice too, but I don't see them very often.

There aren't many people I go to besides Grandma, Poppy, my aunties Tanya and Sarah, my mums friends Louisa, Tammy, Kirrily and Megan.Dads cousin Warren and his wife Vicki is someone mum & dad trust to look after me who also understand me and are always so kind to me as I have to be watched all the time as I do tend to wander and have no road sense.

Mum really trusts Mary enough to leave us with her if a situation was to arise and we had to be looked after. We call her our adopted Grandma because she understands me like my Grandma does. Mary calls Nicolas her best mate as he always loves to tell her all about how he arrests me. Mary loves to listen to his conversations, though he does talk a lot like my mum does. She never shuts up!

When we last went to the Shack we met many children staying there also that were Autistic like me. Mum and dad said it was an eye opener, as they didn't realise how autistic I was until they saw other children behaving the same way as me. They would walk into our unit, open the fridge; cupboard doors help themselves to food like I do. Mum and dad didn't mind, as they understand that I am exactly the same. I cant help but walk up to people in a park who are eating something nice and just help myself to their food. Mum and dad get embarrassed and apologise, then explain to them I am Autistic.

Some people understand others are quite rude. Mum and dad took us kids to a huge park one-day and there was a icecream van. There was a large queue, so mum and dad lined up with us. I just couldn't understand that I had to wait to get my icecream so I screamed, yelled and cried for about 5 minutes. People standing in the line were making rude comments about my behaviour so dad decided to take me to the car while mum waited to be served. When dad walked away these people started saying things like what a little shit. Mum ignored them for a while, then finally asked them had they heard of Autism? They then replied no, so she told them that my behaviour was because of my Autism and that it causes me to exhibit undesirable behaviours in certain situations and explained that part of my brain was somewhat damaged because of my Autism, so I couldn't help it. They just rolled their eyes and looked away. Mum couldn't believe it and gave them the finger (up yours) when they looked back at me.

There is such a minority of people who just don't know how to express any ounce of compassion or try to put themselves in our shoes. Mum would happily hand over her shoes for a day and see how they cope. I'd also like to see these people walk in my shoes, borrow my brain for a day and see how frustrating it can be for me to live in a world of confusion.I have trouble sleeping at night. I can stay up to 2am and then get up again at 6am. I am hyperactive most days and just never stop running from one end of the room to another and turning the stereo on full blast. I am obsessed with Gwyn Stefani's music and play the same song over and over.

I make noises that are so mind numbing to others. I often repeat words over and over. One day mum took me to see a Holistic Paediatrician who specialises in dealing with Autistic children. He prescribed me Melatonin which mum only gives to me now if it sounds like i am not going to calm or settle down. If I am not given it somedays, i wont stop until god knows what time.

Melatonin is a natural hormone that Autistic individuals don't always produce that tells our brain that it is night time and night time is bed time. I live on autopilot. Melatonin has been a lifesaver, not just for mum and dad, but myself because I tend to stay in a deeper sleep and I am less likely to wake up thrashing around screaming in a distressed state for an hour like I used to do.

This display of behaviour seems to appear a lot in different Autistic individuals and I happen to be one of them. Mum and dad have found that since being on Melatonin, I have become somewhat normalised in some of my behaviours. This could be due to the fact that I am getting better sleep at night which enables me to function better on a day to day basis.

Too much sugar sends me mental, I suppose this can happen to normal children too. I tend to go into a severe Autistic mode, where I can go from being over excited; laughing making lots of noises then I crash, which then I will go into distress mode. I will cry, scream, throw myself around and am just down right difficult to handle. Mum knows now not too give me too much sugar like chocolate, it just doesn't agree with me.

Well today is the 11th April, 2005, I am on school holidays until the 27th April. Mummy thought I would sleep in because generally I don't want to get out of bed on school days, well mums idea went out the door from day one, I wake up between 5.45am & 6.30am. Turn the TV on and turn the stereo up.I get the milk out of the fridge and shove it in mums face to wake her up and tell her breakfast.I have to have a cup of tea with mum in the mornings. I have progressed so well, I actually wake up and yell "who's awake"

I use the toilet independently except I am frightened of doing my pooh in the toilet. I will bring mummy a nappy when I want to do one. Mum has tried sitting me on the toilet for 10 minutes, but I will hold on and on until she gives up and puts my nappy on. I interact really well with my siblings, playing tips and chasies and will bounce during the day on the trampoline with my favourite pillow.

I can swim without a floaty now. I almost got my sister drowned not that long ago because I found a box, climbed on it, opened the pool fence and jumped in, if it wasn't for my brother Nicolas and our cousin Courtney screaming for mum she probably would have drowned. My uncle Shane who i used to be scared of came around early the next morning with a special chain and padlock so I couldn't open the gate anymore.

I am going through a tormenting stage, I like to chase the cat and pull her whiskers and tail. Toots is 13 years old, mum calls her an old lady and to be kind. I cant help it because she has this face that looks like she has ran into a bus as she is a white Persian with a squashed up nose. She looks hilarious when she meows.

Well i am now 7.5 years old its 8th December and mums cat toots had to go to kitty heaven as she was very sick, mummy cried for weeks as she was her best friend. I went to school the next day and was upset all day and told the teachers toots died. Daddy bought mummy a new kitten and he is a Himalayan Persian called Moccha as he looks like chocolate. I am absolutely in love and in awe with him. I love going up to him, patting him and saying nice Moccha. We have these 2 Border Collies called Jack & Tiger. Jack has this understanding with me that i dont really understand yet & why, but when i have been in the pool on my favourite sunbed, i was screaming because i was enjoying myself and he must have thought i was in trouble because he kept running around the side of the pool barking & whining. When i got closer, he grabbed the sunbed with his teeth and dragged it closer to the edge. It was a wonder he didnt put a whole in it.

Mum has finally made a major breakthrough. I did my first pooh on the toilet the other day. Mum spent an hour making me go without giving in to a nappy. She was so proud that she started dancing around the house like a lunatic singing Jordan did a pooh pooh Jordan did a pooh pooh hip hip hoorah on the toilet. Mum and dad bought my favourite food "MCDONALDS" for dinner.

I like to wander off a lot and mum and dad cant sit for more than 5 minutes without having to bring me back to where we are sitting. I need to be watched constantly as i am a bit of a hudini.
We went out the other night to the Ettamogah pub for my aunty Natashas 21st birthday dinner and i never sat still. They have this playground area for children which is not fenced, so all i did was try to escape into the pub area where the pokies are because i am obsessed with the flashing lights of all the numbers and letters. It is a worry because the place was busy and i could have easily been lost in the crowds of people.
During the evening i went up to this little boy who was in a electric wheelchair and helped myself to his iceblock. As soon as mum went to stop me, the mother called out and told me to rack off. Mummy apologised and told them i was Autistic. They later apologised for their outburst.

Mum and dad did not get a break all night until 9.30pm when grandma and poppy took me home to there house so mum and dad could have a night out. Boy were they exhausted after 4.5 hours of chasing me non stop.

In 2003 my Uncle Shane married my new aunty Natasha and was married near the Nepean river. I looked so handsome decked out in my suit. My brother Nicolas was a page boy and my sister Chloe was a flowergirl. Aunty Natasha was going to have me as a page boy as well but mummy decided it was best if i wasnt as i would run around and not stand still.
All i did was scream in frustration as i dont like being tied down in the one spot so you can understand mummys decision to just dress me up. My dads cousins wife Vicki came and picked us up after the ceremony because the reception was on a paddle steamer and having children on the boat would have been dangerous. Poor Vicki, when we were put into the car we screamed all the way to her house and mummy had to laugh as she drove off because her face said it all while she was waving bye to mum and dad and telling them not to worry. They could still hear us screaming at the top of the driveway.

Below i would like to share some photos with you because aunty Natasha looked so beautiful.

This photo above is of my Uncle shane (mums brothers)who is standing behind me in the front to the left and Uncle Jamie behind my brother Nicolas on the right.

The picture below is Uncle Shane and Aunty Natasha with her bridesmaids, Aunty Sarah (mums sister) is the second from the left. Isnt she beautiful.

I am doing so well its unbelievable, my language is so clear now. I am communicating a lot more at home. My School are at their wits end because i am over the scale in the class. I have proven to be a challenge for the teachers to keep my learning levels increasing because i am far advanced than the other children. I am being migrated into mainstream IO support classes now.

Halinda where i attend have been taking me to the IO support classes where they are now assessing me to see if i can cope in this new environment. So far so good so hopefully i will be able to attend a school next year closer to home. They have done wonders with me, the teachers talk about me with such passion and get tears in their eyes when telling mummy & daddy what a joy i am to teach and how i am highly amusing with some of the comments i make. They made sure this year that i was placed again in their class because they didn't want other teachers to undo all the progress they made with me. I know they will cry a lot when i leave to go to mainstream because they will miss me.I will keep you updated with my progress so stay tuned.